It’s always difficult for me to maneuver around Christmas. Christmas cards, Christmas greetings, Christmas presents, Christmas songs, Christmas everythings. It is difficult because as a revert to Islam, and one who no longer celebrates Christmas, I still am accosted by Christmas from every angle. From well-intentioned family to the friendly co-worker, everyone has a bit to share during this gift-giving, fun-loving, merry holiday cheer-time.
I’m all for the good stuff of Christmas, not trying to be a downer, it’s just that it gets difficult, as I said, to maneuver around. It’s hard to keep reminding your family, no, thank you – we don’t do Christmas. It’s hard to tell co-workers and explain to them why you don’t celebrate. It’s hard to be constantly be barraged with Christmas Everything.
So to my fellow converts, let me know if you have had a similar holiday experience!
Why am I not praying?
Why am I not praying?
Prayer to me is, in a way, an act of meditation. To me, it’s more of meditating with Allah.
You know, some people fear hearing Allah’s name used. Some people don’t even like when you refer to God. The world has become scared of religion.
One day I was sitting on the couch, quietly minding my own business, when suddenly a strong bolt of lightning struck and thunder pounded firmly in the skies. It made me jump and in that single moment of fear I said to myself, “Oh God.” We rarely get that feeling in this life, that feeling where you are scared, such as in the moment before a car accident, or perhaps you have a heart attack, clutching your hands to your chest you say to yourself, “oh God.” And it’s in that moment that your true belief comes out. Not what you tell yourself you believe, not in the labels we give ourselves, but in the true depth of your consciousness, what you really truly deep down feel in the pit of your cold heart.
I’m tired of fearing my religion. I’m tired of putting the dunya before my religion. I fear Allah, not the people. I fear Allah, not the dunya. The world might be scared of religion, but if I’m truthful to myself, then so am I, because these are the things that keep me from my prayers.
All my life I have believed in God. In Catechism classes, I enjoyed learning about the stories of Jesus. I would apply the lessons from the parables about Jesus to my own life. Daily prayers were also important to me; at night when I would recite my prayers, I would thank God for everything and ask for blessings.
As I got older, I began to ask more questions about the traditions of the religion. There were many aspects of Christianity that I didn’t fully understand, Continue reading