I’ve got to make it through this. I’ve got to be able to carry this and keep going.
Right now I’m using every tool in my toolbox. Im scrounging around in the very bottom of it, searching for what’s left. I’ve used up all the ink in my pen, my voice is harsh and strained from all the talking and crying and my mind is drained. I have very little left.
I’m angry and hurt and I’ve lost the ability to express myself in every way imaginable. I have no map for this awful terrain.
I’m on my knees begging for help.
I’m going to lay down now and hope that my thoughts dont follow me to my pillow. Music, tv, any distraction – just please work so I can have one peaceful moment outside this reality.
I have work in the morning, in just a very few hours. Please just let me sleep and when I wake up, please make this nightmare disappear.