I’m really stressing over these next five days with the kids. Honestly all I want to do is check out. I’m not going to be able to take care of anyone because I’m struggling to even take care of myself right now.
I know I should stop thinking about escaping and should instead think of solutions. I need to prepare lists and things to do with the kids and ideas of how to handle the breakdowns that are inevitably going to happen.
Can you help me to do that? I feel like I should be able to do that myself, especially with all these stupid fucking meds I’m on but I really can’t think outside the box right now (or even inside the box.)
I feel horribly guilty that I can’t get a grip lately. I hate this mental illness so much. I often think if you had known what you were getting into you never would have married me.
I feel like I burden you with worry and stress because of all my fucking non-problem problems.
Email written but nevernn