Watched Terminator Genysis. Not really my bag, but whatevs. The watching of this time-traveling movie coincided with the whole Super Blood-Red Moon Lunar Eclipse event (and just for the record: for anyone who is knowledgeable of the details behind these space happenings, I apologize for probably getting that whole description completely wrong.)
Staring at the moon when the eclipse was starting, I thought I wasn’t going to see much through the thick cloud coverage that had lingered all day and into the night. But miraculously, the viewing took a turn and a wide expanse of clear skies moved into the skies just at the right moment.
I knew, from the small amount of research I’d done online, that this was a unique set-up in the solar system, and that the next would not occur until 2033. I took satisfaction in knowing this fact, rationalizing this event as just another in the long history of “unique” astrological events.
I place no meaning behind these events, as many used to from long ago. Feeling secure and smug in my practical understanding of what exactly was aligned to make this all possible, I casually watched as the moon hung in the shadow of the earth.
But then something blinked in my head and suddenly i found myself caught between the different hemispheres of my brain. I was suddenly consumed with all of these wandering thoughts and snapshots of memories colliding in my mind. I thought of the truths I believed in, and also how little i know or understand about the world around me and the confusing and jumbled world that exists inside my mind.
When I had a mental breakdown and spent three weeks temporarily in a psychotic episode, I had many hallucinations about God and the End of the Life of this World. At the time i believed i was experiencing doomsday, judgement day, the End of Time.
Reminiscing about that period of time in my life while staring up at the disappearing moon, I felt a sinking feeling of fear and dread. What if God just decided this was it? What if God decided not to raise the Sun tomorrow morning? What if all the orbits of the planets ceased?
Soon immediate matters took over and i resumed my night on autopilot as i so often do. Prep coffee machine, brush teeth, prepare for tomorrow morning’s school routines. But now, laying in bed, I speak a silent prayer begging for Allah’s forgiveness and mercy. Because tonight I saw an image of time. And from my humble perspective, we don’t have much to waste