Moving Out and Moving On

I have now selected my new pharmacy (first on the list, of course), my new psychiatrist, my new grocery store, my new gas station, and my new library.  These are all of my essentials.  I still need to find my new nature trails, my new 4 am coffee spot, and my new place to buy milk when I run out, as New Grocery Store is a 15 minute drive away (for those city folk who are confused and/or appalled at this, this is country-living at its finest…)

All of it is…different.  I’m feeling a little reckless lately; all of this change doesn’t necessarily do a body good.  I feel kind of like a fish out of water, and I’m flip-flopping all over the dock.

Mind you, this is the place where I lived for 18 years of my life.  Only I never lived here as an adult until now, with adult needs (oh gawd, that sounds so naughty) like finding a relatively sane pediatrician or locating an oil change place that won’t accidently put washer fluid in my radiator reserve.

Moving out was easy enough.  Moving in was even easier.  It’s the “moving on” part that I’m struggling with.  I feel a little challenged in embracing this new life we’ve created for ourselves.

Although parts of it are great.  Being around my parents, having my son go to the school I grew up in, being close to good friends – I’m excited for that.  My entire support system is now only a moment’s drive away.  And as I mentioned before, there is a new place of worship for me just 15 minutes away from my house.

But there is a part of me that feels a loss.

I spoke with a family friend yesterday.  He was miles and miles away, now living in a country far away from the US.  He used to live right down the block from us.  We used to see him every day, and now it’s months in between our short, rushed conversations (using international minutes makes each phone call too expensive to last long enough).  We were cut off abruptly in the middle of a story about my husband, and I couldn’t call him back.

So I suppose change is all relative.  I need to gain my perspective back and learn how to adjust to this new/old environment.  I need to find myself as an adult here and pave new roads.  I need to embrace this change and create my own niche in this wide, open world.

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