First Step

I did it!

Let me take you on a little journey:
October 2011 – Baby born.
January 2012 – Mumma suffers terrible postpartum depression/bipolar disorder breakdown.  Winds up in psych ward for 3 weeks.
February 2012 – Loses job.  Starts smoking.
March – April – May – June – July – August – September – October – November – December – January – February – March – April – May – June – July – August – September – October – November – December – January – February – Recovers.

March 29, 2014 – Takes a walk.

I have done no physical activity for 2 full years.  I have gained more than 40 pounds.  44.8 to be exact.  I hate the weight.  I have tried to love it.  I have tried to accept it.  I have tried to see beyond it.

I can’t.

Scene 1:   Wakes up.  Another morning of determination.  This time is different.  She puts it in her head that no matter what the circumstances, she has to exit the front door ASAP.  Scrambles to find a sweater, long johns , pants.  Grabs clothes and socks and tip-toes down the stairs to avoid waking up The Ultimate Distractions.  Sorts through shoes and digs out squashed tennis shoes from bottom of pile.  Dresses in kitchen near exit door.  Creeps out of house.  Breathes deeply.  Starts walking..

Scene 2:  Walking.  Feels warm and good and happy and proud and oh-so-thankful to be out there.  Finally made it happen, after two long years.

Yes, I ran out of breath.
Yes, I had to stop repeatedly.
Yes, I lit a smoke half-way through.
Yes, it was just one measly, short little walk.

But I did it.  And I’m proud.

 

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