Alarm goes off – beep, beep, beep. I roll over slowly, swing my feet over the edge of the bed, and stand up with great effort. Beep-beep-beep it continues until I smack the gray snooze butt0n and stumble back to bed.
Back in bed, I contemplate my day for a few seconds. I know I have to go to work – that’s a given. I know I’ll have to get up soon in order to get ready to go to work. I know all of this will take place after only 10 short minutes of snoozing.
I close my eyes and drift back to sleep, conscious of the fact that this second chance at sleep won’t last very long at all, but it is still much appreciated.
Stand up, put clothes on. Go downstairs, prep coffee machine, push the red button to start it. Percolating coffee noises fill the kitchen as I pour my cereal, pull out a giant spoon, add some milk and take a bite. I carry it all to the heat room and sit down in front of the computer.
If only this was a Saturday. If only I still had 2 full days of peacefulness ahead of me. But no, it’s a work day. I try to convince myself to hurry up when I notice the clock reading 7:25. Only 5 minutes to eat, make cigarettes, and pour my coffee before I rush out the door to the car.
It is August 5, 2013. All I feel like doing is driving right back up to my mom and dad’s to be with them until Grama B passes away, letting go of this life and its hold on her. Simply following along with the mundane today just doesn’t feel right. I feel I should be at her bedside, prepared to say our final good byes with the rest of my family.