I tried to come up with something to write about today – but I just don’t have it in me. The one thing that is on my mind right now is my mother. She fell yesterday and she broke her collarbone.
My mom has been sick for a good part of my life – she has Lyme Disease and was diagnosed when I was only five years old. In those years, she was bed-ridden and the image I remember most was of me laying on the living room floor, coloring her get-well pictures out of my Care Bears coloring books while the visiting nurse gave her IVs. I remember my mom smiling at me with only half of her face when she lost the nerves in her left side.
You would never know what she went through if you met her today. She is so strong and competent and driven. Every season she has been out in the field beside my father, driving the plow, unloading the beet harvester, delivering seed to the plants. She never slows down and she never stops, and they are a team. Without each other, they would be lost.
Which is why this is so hard on her right now. She deals with the pain of a broken bone – she won’t even fill her pain prescription. It’s not the broken bone that is breaking her down; it is the fact that the injury occurred exactly one day before harvest season. My dad is out there in the field alone, and she is at home, alone. They are separated for the first time in the middle of the busiest time of the year, and she feels completely inept at not being able to help him, to carry out her duty of farming alongside her husband.
And there’s not anything I can do to ease that for her. I can offer her comfort, I can send flowers to cheer her, I can call to make funny jokes and try to make her laugh. I try to tell her everything happens for a reason and a purpose. But she doesn’t hear me. I can see as I watch her eyes that her mind is going to be halfway in the field, feeling regret and remorse for her condition.
Her whole life she has been strong. She could have given up at any point in her struggle; I feel any normal person probably would have in the face of her obstacles. But she will not give up and she hasn’t. So although she can’t be where she wants to be – I just hope that she allows herself time to heal. I will always admire her for her strength and determination.