So I’m cheap. I’m FRUGAL. Whatever. I just know that I do not want to spend money. I spend money all the time – bills, cat food, gas. But I hate it. I don’t enjoy spending money, not at all, even for things that I WANT to buy. My husband and I always clash on this because I like going to stores just to “look around.” I feel a deep sense of satisfaction whenever I go into a store, stare and drool over all of the things I wish I could buy, and then leave without buying anything, whereas he, on the other hand, just feels a sense of inadequacy if we go somewhere to look at things that we can’t afford to buy.
Well, there is only one thing that I KNOW I have to buy (not that it makes me any happier to spend money on it) and that is FOOD. Clothing, shelter, I could totally find a way to manage without, I don’t even get why they call them “necessities,” but food, I understand, is a necessity. Because I get hungry and I very much do not like to be hungry.
So, since I do know that I have to spend money on this necessity (the only necessity in my mind), I like to find the cheapest way to do this. One of those ways is to buy non-name brand food. This works for some items more than it does for others. Here’s my list of things I’m not willing to settle on:
Must be name-brand:
1. Ranch dressing (although I have a beef with Kraft now cause they totally changed the taste of their ranch dressing without consulting me first and my husband and I do not approve so we’re in a search for the next best brand but haven’t found it yet. Any suggestions?)
2. Kraft Mac and Cheese (the Cheesiest!)
3. Heinz Ketchup
4. Jiff Peanut Butter (Extra-Chunks for me, Skinny Minnie Slimy Smooth (i.e. Jiff’s Creamy Peanut Butter) for my husband)
5. Starkist Tuna Fish (in Water for me, in Oil for the hubby-bubby)
6. Miracle Whip (and Hellman’s Mayonnaise for you know who)
As for non-name brands, pretty much anything else goes beyond those few items I’ve listed above. Which brings me to the topic of this post: the Cereals! I love the names they come up with for these non-cereal cereals, the ones they put out in those 5 lb bags and they’re all just full of sugar, it’s hardly even something a human should be ingesting. Here’s a list of four that are in the cupboard presently, go ahead and guess their true identities:
1. Cinnamon Toasters
2. Berry Colossal Crunch
3. Golden Puffs
and this has to be the best: 4. Frosted Mini-Spooners
Gotta love the off-brands and their quirky marketing. Alright my cat is demanding my attention by dashing up on the table (where he’s not supposed to be) and then diving onto the counter (where he’s definitely not allowed) and then jumping over top of my kitchen sink (which he knows is the worst of the worst). He’s asking for a beat-down so I’ve gotta go.