Filed under: Series for New Muslims | Tags: Allah, how to pray in Islam
This post is an extension of the previous post “How to Start Your Prayers.” Please note that I did not write this section myself – it is written by a member of ummah.com who calls herself “dhakiyya.” She gives good advice as to how to start the prayers as a new muslim.
Filed under: Series for New Muslims | Tags: first visit to masjid, new muslim
Note: Part Four of Seven in the “Am I Muslim” series for new muslims.
My actual first trip to the masjid occurred while I was in college, doing research for a religion class. I remember I was asked to wear a headscarf (and provided with one) and was guided into the women’s section of the masjid, which was behind a thick wall, blocking all view of the Imam. I went into the masjid with an open mind, but seeing the separation (not to mention the very small area that the women were crammed into) was upsetting to me. The woman who was guiding me through the masjid continued to make excuses for the situation, but I just wasn’t convinced. I didn’t blame it on Islam – I already knew the religion stressed equality among the sexes – but I did feel that it was a situation that should be changed.
The second time I entered a masjid was as a muslim. The masjid I went to was nothing like the first one I had attended. I saw right away that the prayer area for the women was placed on a second floor, so that the women had full view of everything that was happening and a clear view of the Imam. This seemed so much more appropriate and as a woman, I felt much more comfortable in this environment. But this time was different, as I wasn’t just there to make observations and leave. This time I was there as a Muslim, as a member of the community – or so I desired to be.
Luckily my experience was wonderful. I was welcomed into the masjid so easily – there was a meeting organized just for people like me – new muslims who were unfamiliar with the masjid or perhaps with the religion of Islam itself. We discussed all kinds of things openly and freely, the Imam came to meet with us to welcome us and answer questions, and we were placed on an email list for further communications.
But not everyone has a similar experience. Some who visit the masjid may feel alienated or distant from others. Some may be too scared or nervous to even attempt a visit. It can take some time before you are ready to make that the first step outside of your comfort zone.
I’d like to help you on your journey with knowing what to expect from your first visit, and how to have the best experience possible in order for the masjid to become a comfortable place of worship. It seems that every masjid has a different “feel” to it. Some are more family-oriented, with programs for kids, outdoor community gatherings, and after-school activities. Others are more individual-centered, with less discussions and more educational activities, avenues for gaining more knowledge about Islam. So if one masjid doesn’t seem to fit with your personality, keep looking and perhaps you will find one that is more suitable for your lifestyle.
But all masjids are there for a place to worship, so the prayer hall is probably the most important area of the masjid. It can help if you have a guide, someone to help you through on your first trip. All you would have to do to arrange this is to call the masjid, introduce yourself, and ask them for help. This way you will know exactly where you will be going when you first enter, and you won’t be like me who wandered around for 5 minutes before getting up the gall to ask someone where the meeting was! If you want to go there just to pray, it won’t be difficult to find your way around, as this is usually the central ”hub” of the masjid.
Another bit of advice is to get to know your Imam. The Imam has alot of connections and knowledge about the activities and schedules of the masjid, so he can be your number one resource for answering any questions you may have. They usually have time periods set aside for things like this, so you can call just to ask when the Imam is available to meet with you. This can be a great way to introduce yourself to the masjid.
There is a great list of masjid etiquette and customs written by a fellow blogger. These posts on Masjid Etiquette are so concise and well-written that I refer you to them now, as there is no better way to guide you on this issue than to direct you to this site and helpful posts. (Click here for the follow-up post regarding masjid etiquette.)
One more thing I want to point out is this: It’s okay if you make mistakes. There were a couple of things that I completely overlooked when I first visited – I forgot to take off my shoes in the prayer area. I passed in front of someone praying. I left too much space between myself and the next person praying. I entered the prayer at an inappropriate time. I made all kinds of mistakes. But the best part was that I learned as I went, and others helped me along the way. It’s okay if you don’t know everything there is to know about Islam. It’s alright if you don’t know all the proper things to do or say. You will learn and then someday it will be you teaching another who may not be aware.
The best benefit I have found of being at the masjid is praying in congregation. There is nothing like being a member of a community of people who believe in exactly the same things you do, who believe in the oneness of Allah and believe in the Qur’an as a message from Allah. To pray alongside another who prays the same as you, to be a part of such an environment does wonders for your soul. For years I stayed away from the masjid because I was too afraid to step outside of my comfort zone. But since I started regularly attending the masjid and praying in congregation, my imaan (faith) has improved beyond anything I could have expected, and in such a short amount of time. Knowing other muslims and reconnecting with a religious community has helped me to strengthen my faith as I have wanted for the past several years.
So I wish you luck and I encourage you to try going to the masjid. Ask Allah for help if you are nervous and know that Allah is with you always.
This concludes Part Four of the “Am I Muslim” series. Look here next week on Monday for some guidance on “How to Start Your Prayers.”
Filed under: Series for New Muslims | Tags: Islam, new muslim, tell family about Islam
Note: Part Three of Seven – “Am I Muslim?” Series for New Muslims
This can be one of the most challenging things you will face as a new Muslim. It will probably take a long time before your family is able to fully accept your decision. This takes alot of patience from you to allow this time period of adjustment to pass and for them to adjust to the new change in you. Their feelings will vary – they may feel angry. They may feel hurt. They might feel happy for you but also confused about your decision. They might be worried about you, afraid you made a wrong choice. Whatever their emotions, it will take time for them to process your decision.
So, how do you tell them? Well, my first advice is to be prepared emotionally. If you are fairly new to Islam and you are still learning the basics of the religion, or perhaps if you are still not 100% sure that you are ready for Islam in your life, then wait until you are ready before you tell them. This is important because you want to be secure and strong before you tell them, that way they will know that you are serious, and also so that you will be able to have the knowledge in case they want to ask you questions about Islam.
Take time to express yourself before you tell them. Do it the best way you know, whether that means sitting down to write a letter or talking to a trusted friend (who already knows of your journey to Islam). Doing these things will help you to get familiar with what you are feeling about this obstacle. Figure out how and what you want to share with them.
When you are ready, ask your family (or do it one-on-one with each member) to sit down with you. Tell them how you feel. Be open and honest in sharing your feelings with them. Tell them you want them to understand how you’ve changed, but that you are still the same person you always were, just that your beliefs and lifestyle have changed.
Try to be patient with their reactions. Allow them to have time to let your decision “sink in.” They may have questions for you, or they may not be ready to ask questions. This will be different for every family. If they are angry at your decision, it is best to let them be alone – it is not necessary to push them to talk about it. Wait until they are ready to come to you. Also, you don’t need to tell them every detail of the religion. Instead focus on the positive changes Islam has enabled you to make in your life.
Know that whatever happens, Allah is with you. Ask Allah for help during this time. Turn to others for support. It can be a very scary time, but know that it gets easier as each day goes by. Be strong and be proud of yourself for taking this difficult step in the path to Islam.
This concludes Part Three of the “Am I Muslim” series. Look here next week on Monday when I will be covering “Your First VIsit to the Masjid.”
Going to the masjid has benefited me in so many ways. Every single time before I go, I am hesitant. I think of excuses not to go: “I’m feeling kind of tired today. It’s a long drive. I can go next week.” It is because I still make mistakes when I’m there. I still don’t know how to do certain things. I still feel too “new.”
But before all the excuses take over, I remind myself that there has not been ONE time that I have regretted going. So instead, I focus on all the feelings I get whenever I go. And that is what gets me into the car and on my way.
The ladies there are fantastic. There are so many kind people, just very decent, honest, warm, friendly people. I used to be afraid of other muslims. I used to think that they could see through me, that they could smell the “newbie”-ness emanating off me, see the lack of knowledge in my eyes, hear the nervousness in my voice.
But after my first visit, I realized that they are just normal people like me, trying to do their best in the world, trying to do right by their kids, trying to live the way we were intended to live.
Subhanallah – I have only gone a few times and I have gained so much from it. I have gotten so much information from the lectures. I have learned the prayer and now can pray in congregation. I have found a muslim pediatrician for my baby! I have received books, lectures on CDs, and best of all – I have gained muslim companionship.
I understand now why there are so many parts in the Qur’an that urge us to be around other Muslims. It has increased my faith so much, just knowing that you’re not alone, that there ARE others who live their life the way Allah has guided us to live.
Last Friday I went to listen to a brother talk about the month of Ramadan and how the Qur’an was first revealed to Muhammed (salallahu alayhi wa salaam). After that we had iftar – there was so much food, masha’allah. I couldn’t believe how much food people brought – it was such a wonderful meal. We all sat around and talked and laughed and kids were runnng in and out of the room and everyone was in such good spirits.
Afterwards, we all went to pray Isha prayer. The prayer room was packed full – there was no space left! There were so many people and we all prayed together, it was amazing. All different races of people from all different walks of life – all praying the same motions, the same words, praising Allah. I had never experienced anything like it. After the prayer, everyone stayed and chatted some more. People I had never seen before came up to introduce themselves. There was so much activity going on, so many people, so many children. It felt so nice to be part of such a wonderful community of people.
I have spent so many years feeling alone, feeling as though I were the only one who knew about Islam, the only one who wanted to practice Islam, wanted to pray, wanted to change my lifestyle. I wondered how I could ever live my life as a Muslim. I finally found the strength I needed through this community of people who are so dedicated to the true nature of Islam – a religion of peace and prayer and acceptance and kindness and oneness.
I can already feel my fear and hesitancy diminishing with each time I visit. The masjid is starting to feel more and more like home.
