As a window into my mind, I’d like to present two versions of myself, one with some fairly random thoughts that just might be on the edge of the “normal” range of mental stability. The other, same thoughts, only this one is a version of me on the verge of yet another manic episode.
Random thoughts of Relatively Stable Me:
- Isn’t it amazing how the entire solar system is designed?
- Did I take the garbage out this week?
- I can’t believe Mary Sue’s getting a divorce. How sad.
- What’s that noise?
- I used to know what atoms and particles and electrons and photons do.
- Why does my kid have so much useless homework day after day after day?
- Did I get my tax return money back yet?
- Isn’t it ridiculous how some people spend so much money on material things?
Version Number Two: The Sh*t’s-About-To-Go-Down Me (i.e. me during a manic episode):
‘Isn’t it amazing how the entire solar system is designed? Isn’t it beautiful that Earth is the only planet we’ve discovered with such a perfect, temperate, liveable climate for life? Did I take the garbage out this week? I can’t believe she’s getting a divorce. How sad.
What’s that noise?
I used to know what atoms and particles and electrons and photons do and it is so important I need to research it right now where are my books from college oh here it is this is fascinating I need to write a paper on this and get it published everyoneneedstoknowthisandrealizehowpertinentitistotheirlives Ohmygosh why does my kid have so much useless homework day after day after day when he should be studying atoms in order to gain an understanding of the Greater Good God PeaceFreedomExistentialism I need to call his teacher and ask her opinion on the common core maybeIshouldhomeschool, isn’t it amazing how the entire solar system is designed? Isn’t it beautiful that Earth is the only planet we’ve discovered with such a perfect, temperate, liveable climate for life and here I am throwing all this garbage into it – did I take the garbage out this week – if I didn’t I am going to reduce my carbon footprintbygoingthroughthisweeksgarbageandwritingdowneverythingIthrewaway
andanalyzing theeffectIpersonallyhaveontheenvironment wow, man, I need to write a paper on this too like RIGHT NOW I bet that’s the connection of why she’s getting a divorce if only she knew about the photons thing and how light bends around a moving object YES that is IT if only
theywouldunderstanditwouldn’thavetobethiswayanymore – SHIT whatisthatnoise?
I think I can hear my heart beating.
Okay, so both of these versions of me ARE indeed ME and I do have weird random thoughts that probably aren’t along the same spectrum of “normal” as I stated above, but the difference is that when I’m manic, none of the thoughts seem random; in fact, just the opposite: they are all spectacularly interconnected.
I’m expecting this will give you a better understanding of the cray in the cray-cray.
Or maybe I just need to lay off the Vsauce. Peace.